Open and honest discussion becomes an essential first step in trying to decide whether moving your parent to a new living situation is necessary, the Caregiver Alliance gently explains. “Active communication among all family members is the building block to a strong support system for an older parent and all family members involved.”
- Does your parent need constant supervision or assistance throughout the day?
- Which activities of daily living (such as eating bathing, toileting) can your parent do independently?
- Is your parent able to conduct his/her own financial affairs?
- Would living with your parent work for you?
- Which services are available in the neighborhood (in-home care, adult daycare, meal delivery, transportation services)?
- Does your parent have estate planning documents? Where are those documents kept?
Tim Prosch, author of the book The Other Talk, looks at things from the side of the parent. “What you need to remember, he says, “is that the talk is a means to an end: how to get the most out of the rest of your life and how to involve your kids in that adventure.”
Rita S. Woll, Certified Senior & Specialty Move Manager in Carmel, Indiana, encourages sons and daughters to go ahead and have that talk with Mom or Dad. “Call the parent and tell them their children are concerned for their well-being and want to have a discussion,” Woll advises. . “Your parent may disagree, but do it anyhow.” Stay away from having the talk during holidays, leaving that time for celebrating and sharing, Woll cautions.Along with the sorting, donating, selling, packing, labeling, and the finding of services and resources involved in move management, Woll’s relocation team helps organize the client’s estate planning and financial documents into a three-ring, multi-sectioned binder. Why is that so important? While items such as birth certificates, marriage certificates, insurance policies, property deeds, stock and bond certificates, and even jewelry can be kept in a safety deposit box, estate planning documents need to be left where loved ones can find them, and collating all the documents into that binder can prove invaluable later. Complete Relocation Solution’s extensive network of contacts includes estate liquidators, auctioneers, movers, repairmen, and document shredding services, along with estate planning attorney firms.
At our Indiana estate planning law firm Rebecca W Geyer & Associates, we often host (either virtually or in-person) family meetings where clients can openly share with loved ones the values and assumptions underlying legacy plans and healthcare directives. Yes, there are always emotional overtones to conversations about money, perhaps to an even greater extent when it comes to leaving property to heirs.
In both legacy planning and move management, it all begins with The Talk.
– by Ronnie of the Rebecca W. Geyer & Associates blog team