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Caring For Generations

A Real Life Relocation Cautionary Tale

by | May 10, 2023 | elder care, Elder law, eldercare resources

“The adult children should have moved them several years ago before they got sicker and aged. Now the parents are very tired, not open to change or to giving up their household possessions – which adds to their stress level.” Relating this sad tale, Certified Senior & Specialty Move Manager Rita Wohl wishes those adult children had had “The Talk” with their parents years ago…..

This not atypical saga involves an 88 ½ year old wife and 93-year old husband;, with three children living out of state. As Wohl describes the couple’s current living conditions, the wife sleeps in her recliner in the living room; the husband in another recliner in the family room. Both are unsteady on their feet and use walkers to get around.

Months ago, one of the couple’s children decided to “take charge”, reserving and paying for two apartments in a senior community. However, the parents have refused to move. Finally, the daughter hired Rita and her staff to supervise the relocation. Heartbreaking to observe, the spouses have resorted to screaming at one another, then breaking down in tears.

Senior care and estate planning are both hard topics for adult children to discuss with their parents, as Rita Wohl’s story certainly demonstrates and as our attorneys experience in working with Geyer Law clients. We always recommend – and offer to facilitate – “the Talks”, family conferences to discuss wills, powers of attorney, even parents’ end-of-life wishes.

In his book The Other Talk, Tim Prosch reminds readers that “the other talk” isn’t just about distributing assets while you’re alive and after you’re gone. It’s about getting the most out of the rest of your life and how to involve your kids in that adventure.”

“Take your parents on tours of communities in areas where they can be near to you,” Wohl advises. If they have the means to pay for “in-home care” to make meals, do light house cleaning, and be transported to doctors’ appointments, that may enable them to stay in their own familiar surroundings.

– by Ronnie of the Rebecca W. Geyer blog team

“The adult children should have moved them several years ago before they got sicker and aged. Now the parents are very tired, not open to change or to giving up their household possessions – which adds to their stress level.” Relating this sad tale, Certified Senior & Specialty Move Manager Rita Wohl wishes those adult children had had “The Talk” with their parents years ago.
https://completerelocationsolutions.com

This not atypical, saga involves an 88 ½ year old wife and 93-year old husband;, with three children living out of state. As Wohl describes the couple’s current living conditions, the wife sleeps in her recliner in the living room; the husband in another recliner in the family room. Both are unsteady on their feet and use walkers to get around.

Months ago, one of the couple’s children decided to “take charge”, reserving and paying for two apartments in a senior community. However, the parents have refused to move. Finally, the daughter hired Rita and her staff to supervise the relocation. Heartbreaking to observe, the spouses have resorted to screaming at one another, then breaking down in tears.

Senior care and estate planning are both hard topics for adult children to discuss with their parents, as Rita Wohl’s story certainly demonstrates and as our attorneys experience in working with Geyer Law clients. We always recommend – and offer to facilitate – “the Talks”, family conferences to discuss wills, powers of attorney, even parents’ end-of-life wishes.
https://www.rgeyerlaw.com/blog/2020/09/8-tips-for-having-the-talk-with-elderly-parents/

In his book The Other Talk, Tim Prosch reminds readers that “the other talk” isn’t just about distributing assets while you’re alive and after you’re gone. It’s about getting the most out of the rest of your life and how to involve your kids in that adventure.”
https://web.archive.org/web/20151121163323/http://www.amazon.com/AARP-The-Other-Talk-Children/dp/0071830987

“Take your parents on tours of communities in areas where they can be near to you,” Wohl advises. If they have the means to pay for “in-home care” to make meals, do light house cleaning, and be transported to doctors’ appointments, that may enable them to stay in their own familiar surroundings.

– by Ronnie of the Rebecca W. Geyer blog team