“Don’t be afraid to have those “big” conversations about money, illness, later-in-life care and, yes, death. Trust us — doing it now will help you avoid a lot of problems and heartache,” Allison Cooper writes in a lifestyle.howstuffworks.com piece titled “How to Talk WITH – Not AT.- Your Adult Children”.
Sit your kids down and tell them what you would like to happen:
1. If you are incapacitated – do you:
want to live with one of them
move to an assisted-living facility?:
have caretakers brought in?
2. When you die – do you:
- want to be buried (where?) or cremated?
- want a particular kind of service or celebration?
- want to be an organ donor?
On the other side of things, ‘When the discussion turns to Dad becoming increasingly absent-minded, or Mom’s driving not what it used to be, the aging senior is often turned off and shuts down,” Westchester Family Care explains. In turn, parents often perceive that they are being treated like children, and want to prove they are still capable and independent enough to make their own decisions. In fact, many parents are in what has come to be called The Silent Generations, having grown up in a time when feelings were often not discussed.
At Geyer Law, we understand not only that elder law matters can be complex and overwhelming, but that initiating inter-generational discussions can be awkward and emotion-laden. Using the insights our attorneys have gained from decades of helping Indiana families deal with those later-in-life decisions, we provide personalized counsel, bringing those “big” family conversations down to “comfortable size”.
From a practical standpoint, family conferences help acquaint the younger generation with the members of their parents’ advisory team. Not only will this make settling parents’ affairs much simpler later on, but, even more important, allows parents to openly share with loved ones the values and assumptions – along with the issues – that have gone into their estate planning choices.
Conversations across the generations – as Martha Stewart often describes her recipes and homemaker tips – can turn out to be “a very good thing”!
– by Ronnie of the Rebecca W. Geyer & Associates blog team
