“When it’s love vs. money, Americans prefer the hefty bank account,” the results of a Northwestern Mutual survey of 4,375 U.S. adults revealed. A majority of couples in a serious relationship, the survey revealed, feel financial compatibility is more important than any of the following: emotional chemistry, physical attractiveness, intellectual connection, shared hobbies, or spiritual harmony.
Disagreements about money can put substantial strains on a couple; couples who share financial values and goals are better equipped to move forward together, Jeff Sippel, Northwestern Mutual’s Chief Strategy Officer, said. “Many couples don’t start on the same page financially — but they get there by talking,” Sippel added. “Money conversations don’t just build wealth, they create stronger relationships.”
At Geyer Legal Group, we couldn’t agree more that agreement about money is an important element of stability in family relationships. As longtime Indiana estate planning attorneys, we’ve learned the value of facilitating family conferences, to give parents the chance to openly share the values and assumptions that have gone into their estate planning choices. While having properly-drafted documents and family conferences cannot ensure there will be no conflicts when an estate is being settled, we firmly believe that helping avoid family rifts is a core function of our work.
Since at Geyer Legal we assist not only with estate planning, but in creating prenuptial agreements, we were chagrined to read a recent report in the National Library of Medicine about the growing phenomenon of “gray divorce” – divorce that occurs among adults aged 50 and older. Not only must estate plans be overhauled as a result of the divorce, but the report also notes that many women experience as much as a 45% drop in their standard of living after the divorce.
Divorce or no, regularly reviewing and adapting your estate plan is crucial as individuals and couples move through the many changes in life — either separately or together. In “The Psychology of Communication in Estate Planning”, Bradley Klontz, Psy.D, CFP®,points out, “When we don’t know a person’s true intentions, we make up a story — often not the one intended. This miscommunication can destroy relationships, dismantle families, and cause life-long emotional wounds.” The job of advisors, Klontz so poignantly says, is to help clients accurately communicate their true intentions. As Indiana estate planning advisors, we emphatically agree!
– by Ronnie of the Geyer Legal Group blog team
