In the online discussion (published in the Indianapolis Star), “Spouse feels left out of mother-in-law’s dying wishes” “Mia”, who is dying, has requested that once she enters hospice, her visitors be limited to just her children, biological grandchildren, and sister and brother (no steps or in-laws). The daughter-in law has found this decision hurtful, and worries that it will “throw off the household peace.” The columnist’s response: Ailing adults get to choose their own advisory boards and who has access. Decisions are not necessarily made based on loved ones’ sensitivities”.
Warren Buffett’s advice to all parents, in contrast, is to “let your adult children read your will before you sign it”. The purpose, Buffett explains, is to “have each child understand the logic for your decisions and the responsibilities they will encounter upon your death.” If any of your heirs-to-be have questions or suggestions, he advises, “listen carefully and adopt those found sensible.” What you don’t want, Buffett knows, is children asking “why?” when you’re no longer able to respond.
At Geyer Law, we relate to both these articles. True, estate planning matters can be complex and overwhelming, and initiating inter-generational discussions can be awkward and emotion-laden. But, as Warren Buffett so insightfully remarks, our clients don’t want their children asking “Why?” when the opportunity to explain has passed. Using the insights our Indiana estate planning attorneys have gained from decades of helping Indiana families deal with those later-in-life decisions, we provide personalized counsel, bringing those “big” family conversations down to “comfortable size”.
For one thing, family conferences help acquaint the younger generation with the members of their parents’ advisory team. Not only will this make settling parents’ affairs much simpler later on, but even more important, allows parents to openly share with loved ones the values and assumptions – along with the issues – that have gone into their estate planning choices.
When it comes to sharing your estate plan with heirs-to-be, better now than never!
– by Cara Chittenden of Rebecca W. Geyer & Associates
