Contrasting behaviors can be a source of conflict for couples, Rick Kahler points out in Advisor Perspectives. “Spenders may be seen as either generous or irresponsible, while savers are viewed as either stingy or responsible.” There may be value in both behaviors, the author points out, and, while a saver may see the spender as having a problem needing to be fixed, the spender views the saver in the same light. Polarity mapping focuses on how to balance the two behaviors. Partners are trained to watch for early warning signs that their financial situation is leaning too far to one side or the other.
The same principles apply to estate planning for married couples. “Getting on the same page now means fewer problems when it counts,” the Kiplinger Advisor Collective agrees. “From managing jointly held assets to minimizing estate and income taxes, spouses must coordinate their plans to avoid unintended consequences — or surprises — down the line.”
In working with our Geyer Law estate planning clients on their estate plan, we find many couples disagreeing on:
- who should inherit assets
- who should be named as guardians for minor children
- who should be named successor to business interests
- whether conditions should be placed on heirs (such as completing college, continuing involvement in a church, marrying within the faith)
- restrictions should the survivor of the two remarry
- which charities should benefit
Needless to say, the spender/saver contrast between spouses that Kahler mentions often makes itself evident during estate planning discussions at Geyer Law, with one spouse focused on enjoying the “fruits of their labor” themselves, the other focused on giving children or grandchildren a “leg up” by funding their education or business ventures.
In blended families, we find, disagreement s often centered around how children from either partner’s former marriage should be treated in this couple’s estate plan. A recent inquiry on Reddit read: “My husband believes my stepdaughters should receive a nearly equal amount of our estate to our shared daughter. I want the estate to be distributed 50% to our shared daughter and 25% to each of my two stepdaughters. He adamantly disagrees. This is a very emotional issue for him.”
As estate planning attorneys in Indiana, we are not required to be psychologists or marriage counselors. At the same time, we help navigate complex family dynamics. We understand the challenges, fears and family dynamics that come into play with legal issues, and always adopt a compassionate approach.
– by Cara Chittenden, Attorney with Geyer Legal Group, PC
