Millions will soon inherit a house full of sentimental items, Kathy Barnes notes in Better Homes and Gardens. But the transfer of physical belongings can cause overwhelm and stress. Our older generations want to know that their belongings will be appreciated. Heirs want to honor their legacy without being buried under boxes of unwanted dishes, figurines, or baseball cards. Professional organizer Dr. Regina Lark’s advice? Have honest conversations to avoid confusion around what to keep and what to give away…
Donna Fuscaldo, writing in Kiplinger, comes at the “stuff” question from a different point of view. In terms of cash and invested assets, she asks, if your adult kids are doing fine without your help, why sacrifice your own retirement experience to ensure a payout to the next generation? It’s natural to want to leave a legacy, but you have to live, too, is her message to grandparents. As a “compromise”, she suggests, perhaps using the money now to fund family experiences that include both generations, such as a big multi-generational trip, would have the greatest overall impact.Life, Fuscado opines, is about the memories you make. You want to enjoy those memories, too, not only leave them for others, she suggests to grandparents.
It’s wonderful when grandparents can stay involved in their grandchildren’s lives, sharing those grandchildren’s successes and incorporating grandkids’ special talents and career aspirations – or their special needs – in their own estate planning, we’ve always believed. As estate planning attorneys at Geyer Law, we continue to find ourselves designing legacies specifically targeting the needs of our clients’ grandchildren. One of the reasons we like to refer to ourselves as “counselors” is that many aspects of estate planning are not about passing on “stuff”, but about passing on lessons learned in addition to assets earned.
As the authors of The Beneficiary Book advise, it’s a good idea to inventory your physical possessions, making lists of the people you would like to end up owning each, and explaining the potential value (both sentimental and monetary) of certain possessions and collectibles.
The sooner in the process family meetings happen to communicate elders’ intentions and the reasoning behind their decisions about “stuff”, the more rewarding the process can be for both older and younger family members. At our law firm we try, wherever possible, to bring together family members of different generations to share information about specific assets – and specific values.
– by Cara Chittenden, Attorney with Geyer Legal Group, PC
