“My father passed away and left me a large sum of money”, a reader related in a recent Dear Abby letter. After paying off debt, she decided to give each of her three adult children a Christmas gift:”from me and their grandfather”. The letter-writer’s husband of one year was not happy, feeling that his adult children should be given Christmas gifts as well. Abby’s answer – “Your husbands’ children are not entitled to a share of your inheritance.”
Estate planning for second marriages (after divorce or death of a first spouse), especially when there are children from prior marriages, is a lot more difficult, and, at Geyer Law, our goal is to tailor-make a plan for each of our clients, especially those in second marriage situations. As Texas Probate Lawyer points out, the spouses will typically want to provide for their surviving partner, but they want to be sure the assets end up with their children (not the surviving spouse’s children)
In the Dear Abby scenario quoted above, it appears there was no prenuptial agreement addressing financial scenarios such as the receipt of an inheritance by either of the parties. Tellingly, the letter writer reveals that her husband refuses to go to marriage counseling with her. What we have learned as Indiana estate planning lawyers is that, as hard as couples may find it to discuss money matters, including inheritances, communicating on these sensitive areas works to strengthen the relationship. While we are not marriage counselors, we often find ourselves serving as discussion moderators and guides.
In the Dear Abby scenario, the debate over the wife’s newly inherited wealth undoubtedly posed a threat, not only to the couple’s relationship, but that of her children and his. We have no way of knowing from the column whether the grandfather, upon learning of his daughter’s remarriage, had revealed to her his own intentions relative to the “combined family” and the addition of a new set of great-grandchildren. In general, however, as longtime Indiana estate planning attorneys, we’ve learned the value of facilitating family conferences so that the younger generation becomes acquainted with the values and assumptions that have gone into the older generation’s estate planning choices, with differing expectations, issues, and misunderstandings brought to the table while everyone is there to participate.
It’s that old “ounce-of-prevention” concept that is so very relevant to the estate planning process.
– by Cara Chittenden, Attorney with Rebecca W. Geyer & Associates
